So Short story......

This is 1 of those story's , Deb try's 2 keep me from telling. This is old story I am teenager constantly in trouble. So I get pulled over 4 Drag racing off a busy street light late on a Friday night, 2 cop's pull us both over and I separate them by pulling over on a different street than the other guy. My license is suspended, and I have stolen plates, So I make the brilliant decision 2 go 4 it, I know this neighborhood well and think I can easily outrun these slow ass cop car's. So before He can make a visual on me in the car I dump the clutch on my 1964 327 c.i. 4 speed SS Impala. I just need 2 get ahead enough 2 kill lights & hide out in the dark, I have a good lead right away but I see another car coming at me head on with lights flashing Hook a turn try 2 increase a lead on them about time I think I can kill lights & hide car, Hear comes another set of lights, Damn it This is not going well, I am taking corners so fast now that I am in peoples lawn's , bush's etc. The light's and sirens seem 2-B everywhere, Now the road is blocked by 2 cars & I have 2 crash threw, definitely in deep now. I head out 2 main street/s so I can put some m.p.h. together, up over 100 m.p.h. & running red lights dodging in & out oncoming traffic, these old car's did not handle or corner well at speed, I hit a busy 4 way intersection & car dips down & drags exhaust in shower of sparks & lifts hard at crown in road feel's almost air born. The flashing lights are coming from all directions now, I am thinking try 2 run 4 bridge over barge canal & jump bridge & dump car in canal & swim 4 it, have about a 3 mi. straight run & a quick left & over the bridge, The car is cranked hard open & hauling ass, cop's are on side streets lights flashing everywhere as I fly past, I see the end of road & my final turn coming, Man all traffic is gone the intersection is cop/s Fire trucks, Ambulance flashing lights I am on brakes & trying 2 shoot thru & get 2 vacant lot on left past intersection & still make canal, they are shooting my tires, car is skipping thru sideways I am off road in vacant lot but thru intersection, I need 2 get on road 2 get around tree line & dump in canal, I hit roadside ditch so fast & hard the front left wheel & A-frame & all come out top of fender, I jump right over road & nose dive in ditch on other side. I can't hardly open door but a crack & try 2 squeeze out. They are right on me now & I'am still fighting. Bad mistake No.#2, Billyclubs , fist's, down on ground 4 a few kicks. 2 set's of cuffs so tight I fell my heartbeats pulsing in my hands. Back off paddy wagon with smallest cop they have. I suppose I have it coming & he's not holding back. So of course there is a moral here, I think it's quite obvious THE MOTOROLA IS A MOTHER F>>>>R. (STORMIN)

So, Short story? Man we rode in a pack 20 or more. R bikes R everything 2 us, We rule the road. Law's puhff, We ride hard & fast as we can, we don't stop 4 light't or sign's. Mine is gold chrome springer, high rise bars, sissy bar, banana seat. Yep 20" Schwinn Stingray with add on cut off forks. Man it's summer brake, were 10 yrs. old. Oh yea wild & free. So a challenge has come about were going 2 ride the taboggan shoots, There a Yankee thing, 4U Crackers, There concrete hillside shoots watered & froze in the winter 4 sled rides. Pack a lunch its a 30 mi.ride. Wow they look a whole lot steeper & higher in the summer. Lot of 2nd thought's, 4 of us make the trip 2 the top, 3 mount R bikes Frankie looks scarred Milo is next 2 me he is way 2 big & fat 4 this. HOLY SHIT I'am off solo, I can't see the front wheel it's a blurrr vibrating up & down. I got 2 B doing at least 200 mph Swooosh off the concrete in 2 the grass lock up the bake wheel, wow I'am shaking, Bam I'am surrounded back pat's Attaboy's, Holy shits. Man this is the big deal round the nieghborhood, Even the teenagers get it. So 2 day's latter were riding up & down a dirt hill at the park. BORRING, I'am going 2 hit it hard & fast & jump off the back side, after all I'am the man now. Hard running start hit the hill & the frame breakes at the neck, Handlebars & forks come at me right between the legs, man my pants R cut open my junk is hanging & OMG ITS BLEEDING I'am crying & screaming like a bitch. I run home & wash it down, Ain't so bad small cut 2 the side, no biggy, go back out there's my broken bike in the driveway, my friends R pretty silent, We can't hardly look at each other don't know what 2 say. Yep 1 little O-SHIT can kill the biggest attaboy. (STORMIN)

So, Short story ? So I visited Milo in Oregon, then again in Mass. He next moved 2 Ga. just outside Atlanta. He restored a old cracker house 4 a man named Fouse on Fouse road this is a real exclusive subdivision of million dollar homes except 4 the old Fouse family original old home now restored & rented by Milo. He has a outdoor hot tub on porch where he drinks Jim Beam at night & yells obsenitys from his tub 2 passing nieghbors. So me & deb make a visit he sets us up with his Honda CBX 6 cyl. motorcycle serouisly fast bike at that time, Deb's little P-brain head is about swimming in milo's fat head helmet. 5 or 10 mins. into riding get the chance 2 C whats 2 this 6 cyl bad ass, Scream it thru the gears & Deb is lovin it she's holding me tight screaming with joy, This is fun she squeezes tighter & tighter Man she's diggin them little dagger nails in me & its hurting, now she's screaming in my ear pull over asshole. Barely stop & she's beating me in the back. Stop &look back her helmet is off still strapped around neck but hanging off back & had been catching air like a parrachute & chocking the hell out of her, So apparentley the screams of joy were screams of pull over & stop asshole. Well excuse me 4 not knowing how 2 properley discifer one scream from another. (ASSHOLE)

So Short story.... The saga of shotgun Deb..The stagecoach shotgun was your eyes, ears, & armed protection . I have all this & more with my little shotgun rider. You cant see or hear shit in the war horse with nose up stance & near open pipes, But the story is in all she has been thru, She has dealt with years of my suspended license while racing our way 2 no#1 points at 1 of the tuffest dragstrips. & was badly injured in a street race accident that she has never fully recovered from, years of therapy & braces & bed ridden, she still rides thru 150 mph blasts, hours of travel in bear bones rides thru extreme heat & cold. She has more sense than me, but still falls 2 the thrill of a thrill ride or race. She was so pissed at me when I was busted out of state 4 reckless driving. She could barely talk 2 me when I made it home. I had 2 help her walk at this time & kids were aged enough we could go out, so I took her out & we hopped around in the HORSE , while I tried 2 sooth her & talk my way back 2 her good graces, As we make peace & head back 2 the house we catch the last redlight on the way home. SOOO.. A yellow Vette pulls up alongside, no biggie except he's revving the damn motor.Damn he's a Ass. Deb gives me the look & starts with a flurry of fists 2 my arm, WHAT I AINT DONE NUT'N , He;s the ass revving the motor . Hell I dont know what happened the light hit green & its on, about 1000 ft. its settled , Man Iam mental here it comes, I look over slowly very slowly, She is shacking her head, but I detect a smile. Man she has her hand on my leg & I believe thats a good squeeze I feel, Yep she's lovin it. Yea I think I only do this shit 2 please her. (STORMIN & SHOTGUN)

Sooo... Short Story. , They have been playing commercial ads 4 new jack-ass movie Bad grandpa Deb gives me weird looks & smirks, every time it plays. I do have a abundance of stories & always glad 2 tell 1 even in the wrong place, wrong time, & wrong person, Our 2 boys & there friends had 2 deal with plenty of them growing up. Deb often tried 2 stop me feeling I was encouraging them in the wrong ways, Of course this made the stories more desirable 2-B heard, Of course I put a good action adventure spin on them that tends 2 make a little more than it was. & of course my little Debbie Downer would put it all in proper perspective, with little comments like YEA & HOW LONG WERE YOU IN JAIL & HOW MUCH DID THAT 1 COST. O.K. but between the 2 of us telling it we got out a story with a lesson. So the points being our Grand kids are now 12 & 11 & I have a 2nd chance. She seems 2 think I should be a little more careful & think things Through better before I tell some of my stories, Huh its already 2 late & I have so much 2 share & show we have so much in common what with the age there at now, Hell just last week I shared the only known sure cure 4 hick-ups with them, U know the 1 U stick 1 thumb in your mouth & 1 thumb in your ass, every time U hick-up U switch them. I am just getting started there is so much 2 teach & share, & besides they still have GOOD GRANDMA 4 any damage control. (STORMIN) A.K.A. POOH POOH as the little rodents call me.